


Coyote, meet Martian

by CannedTins



Category: Looney Tunes | Merrie Melodies
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-04
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-22 02:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannedTins/pseuds/CannedTins
Summary: A coyote's everyday routine is interrupted when a spaceship crashes just inches away from his nose.Alternatively, a stray asteroid sends a martian and his dog plummeting to Earth.Something I wrote after finding out that Wile E. and Marvin never officially met, which is really weird, considering they are both Chuck Jones' creations, and prone to failure.





	Coyote, meet Martian

Above, a cloudless sky, cool blue betrayed by sweltering heat brought on by the sun. And below, a large swath of orange dunes and canyons, ribboned with strips of gray road.

 

On the ground, so fast the naked eye could not be able to detect it---but a camera could, a roadrunner, speeding along the blazing hot asphalt with reckless abandon. Trailing behind it was a mangy coyote, eyeing the prize.

 

At this point it was all routine for the coyote; very early at dawn he would wake up to the sensation of his rumbling, empty stomach---he was constantly  _ running on empty _ , as he may call it---he’d gather the most important materials he needed, climb up to the highest point he could find, and scour out for the jewel of the desert, his white whale---the roadrunner. He’d do this for as long as possible, chasing the bird by any means necessary, devising any plans, using any Acme-grade weapons, whatever it took to get closer to the bird.

 

It never worked out. But he never gave up.

 

He could only subsist on scraps and litter for so long. There would come a time where he would simply run out of food and eventually meet a painful and humiliating death by starvation. He had come close many times, but fate told him to preserve.

 

The coyote stopped at a curve along the adjacent canyon, quickly measuring the height and width of the wall and figuring out what sort of illusion he could form out of the canyon wall. He had to think fast, before the roadrunner could appear. In his mind, he pictured a tunnel, with the road stretching ahead into oblivion. He’d tried this exact trick before, oddly enough he could not remember how many times he succeeded and how many times he failed. 

 

Maybe the repeated falls from cliffs contributed to head trauma.

 

Shaking off the previous thoughts, he painted up the wall with an illusion of the tunnel, anticipating the roadrunner’s appearance. He then slunk back into a crevice.

 

The roadrunner came into view as a blazing streak of blue and purple hues, growing larger by the nanosecond until,  _ zoom _ , it sped directly into the illusion and off into the distance.

 

Puzzled, the coyote tried to make sense of the preceding few seconds. Was the illusion so good that it became true? Or did he just fail as he did before (so the coyote finally remembers). Or, would he have to run just  _ fast enough _ to bypass the illusion?

 

The coyote’s ravenous appetite had been temporarily replaced with curiosity. He pressed his long snout against the wall---it was  _ definitely _ a wall, only an illusion---and squinted. He couldn’t find any trace of the roadrunner, only the remainder of the landscape. He sighed, pondering on what to do next. Maybe he could order another rocket launcher from Acme.

 

The coyote dug through his own head for other ways to capture the roadrunner. Either he was thinking so hard he started to see spots form before his eyes, or there was a slowly-expanding greenish dot in the illusion.

 

________________________________________________________

 

Space, endlessly black with glimmering dots of blues--reds--yellows, far-off asteroids drifting and nearby comets zooming. There is no up and down, no left or right, only  _ space _ .

 

Space, interrupted by a green rocket shape, sleek and  _ alien _ . It sped past Venus, dodged the Asteroid belt, and found its way hovering above more space. At the rocket ship’s cockpit is a little creature from an imperial race of powerful  _ Martians _ . He did not look like much in his little Martian helmet and skirt, but he had big plans. 

 

He set his eyes on the blue-green planet below---a sore thumb in the vast expanse of the solar system, something that always got in the way of beautiful Venus. The Martian hated Earth, and hated Earthlings more.

 

He had the laser beam ready to fire, all he needed to do was find his Illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator. A very volatile object, it should never be displaced---such an error could prove fatal. 

The Martian hopped down from his cockpit chair and motioned at his canine companion to find the modulator. If he could just stick the modulator within the laser beam and fire...

 

Earth would be no more.

 

After a few too-long minutes, the dog came out whining. Not a good sign. There was no modulator? The Martian knew not to panic. He had to stay composed at all costs lest the situation escalate.

 

He looked back on Earth, ugly and sickly-blue as always. Maybe he left the modulator back at home. He could always zoom back to Mars within a light-year and then come back... 

 

The Martian appeared to be so occupied in his own thoughts that he did not notice an incoming asteroid, nor did he hear his dog's frantic barking as the satellite collided with the rocket ship.

 

The impact of the asteroid knocked his rocket ship sideways, and sent the tiny Martian flying into the cockpit, knocking him unconscious. The lights flashed red and the dog braced for cover as the rocket ship tumbled down to Earth.

 

The ship spun around and made a nose-dive for the atmosphere, slowly burning up in red flames as it reached closer and closer to the surface, reds and oranges coming into view, hills and canyons, sparse amounts of trees, long gray roads...a tunnel?

 

Finally, the green rocket ship crashed noisily onto the sand, leaving debris all around. Then the dust settled. The rocket was a mess now, burnt, dusted up at the sides, and crushed in the front. Should the Martian wake up, he would be in for a surprise.

 

______________________________

 

Meanwhile, just a few feet across from the crash site, the coyote looked on in shock. That expanding green dot had after all been a rocket, as he should have guessed.

 

It had clearly come from space, and he wasn’t sure of the rocket ship’s motives.

 

Cautiously, the coyote scrambled up to his hind feet and inspected the ship better, picking up pieces of debris when he could---perhaps this could be useful in his plans. The rocket ship’s door creaked open, already dangling off at the edges as if some screws had come loose.

 

The coyote stepped back to allow whatever creature was inside to emerge.

 

The Martian shakily clambered out the door, his helmet beat-up, dog following in suit---and collapsed on the ground. This only raised even more questions for the coyote. The dog growled as he approached, but he was unfazed by this. The coyote just wanted to check on the collapsed alien.

 

Had this tiny alien really come from beyond the stars?

 

He looked puny, and wore a Roman-esque outfit, his skin was black as void, closed eyes like massive dishes. 

 

The coyote picked the Martian up and set him down on softer ground, checking for vitals. The dog sat by his master, eyeing the coyote with suspicion.

 

He wasn’t hungering after the Martian, no. Clearly this alien was a form of highly intelligent life, and the dog would react violently if the coyote made any wrong moves. Instead, he wanted to make sure the Martian could wake up and hopefully befriend him.

 

The Martian groaned, a wave of newfound pain shooting up his head and back, his vision slowly adjusting to the new environment. 

 

Blue sky. Red canyons. An ugly, crooked brown snout---

 

The Martian leaped backwards with a yell, before grunting in pain. He was wide-awake now. And he realized that this wasn’t Mars, and that  _ thing _ wasn’t his dog.

 

“What are you?!”

 

The coyote blinked. The alien could  _ talk _ . And in a language he could understand, too. 

The coyote wasn’t much of a talker, though, but he tried.

  
With a raspy cough he answered, “I would ask the same of you, sir.”

 

The Martian scrambled around for his disintegrating pistol, but it wasn't holstered to his hip. He was exposed, vulnerable, and a potential experiment for this unusual creature gawking at him.

 

“Relax,” the coyote said, “I have no interest in eating you, or experimenting on you. I can see you are very intelligent, judging by your rocket ship.”

 

The Martian squinted, “But you’re an Earthling. My enemy. Earth has to be destroyed.”

 

The coyote wasn’t sure how to respond, stammering, “W-well, we can arrange that, I suppose...Can’t we introduce ourselves first?”

 

“Where is my disintegrating pistol?”

  
“Ahem...My name is Wile E---”

 

“My pistol! Where is it?! K-9!”, the Martian interrupted, jumping to his feet and scooting around the ship, his dog followed.

 

Wile E. gulped, he hadn’t dealt with anybody of this caliber before. Even the rabbit was easy pickings compared to this little guy. He still hoped to make an acquaintance out of him, though. With that rocket ship, the potential of high-end technology was outstanding.

 

The little Martian re-emerged from behind the rocket ship with a very broken-looking disintegrating pistol in his hands.

 

He looked very angry.

 

Very angry, indeed.

 

“I...I could fix that. As I was saying before, my name is Wile---”

 

He was interrupted yet again by the Martian, who held the broken pistol right at his face.

 

“Don’t you move! You caused this, didn’t you? As it is with you Earthlings, always causing my plans to fail.”

 

Wile looked between the Martian, the rocketship, and the dog. This alien had plans, too? Even if it was for destroying the coyote’s home, plans denoted intelligence---and he too was hit by a stroke of bad luck.

 

Had he found his new hope?

 

“I can fix your pistol, and I can fix your rocket. I can even help you destroy all of us.”

 

The Martian looked surprised, he was giving up this easily? There had to be a catch.

 

He lowered his pistol, grumbling, “Okay. As long as I am able to destroy Earth afterwards.”

 

“Yes!”, Wile smiled, “See? We can do this together. Now, I feel I should formally introduce myself.”

 

He pulled out a business card to which he handed the Martian, it read:

 

**WILE E. COYOTE**

 

**GENIUS**

 

**HAVE BRAIN, WILL TRAVEL.**

 

The Martian read the card twice before nodding, “You say you are a genius? I will be the judge of that. I am Marvin the Martian.”

 

The two shook hands, at last. It felt like something legendary was happening at this moment in the Southwest American desert. Coyote and Martian. Together, their brains could work together and create innovations previously thought impossible.

**Author's Note:**

> (Subject to edits or such. I didn't actually proofread this the first time, I apologize. Comments are highly appreciated!)


End file.
